i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
