shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
