He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
