dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
