We're like a lot better than the average bears
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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