He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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