as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
