Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
