What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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