I swear she didn't look like that last week.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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