my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
