i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
