Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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