The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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