try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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