Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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