And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My vagina is officially offended.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
