Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
