Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
