I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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