They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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