If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize