He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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