Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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