she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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