i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
