I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
