i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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