I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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