Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
