Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
