Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
