I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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