Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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