I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
