I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
