I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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