I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
