What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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