It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
