marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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