What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
