that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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