shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
