Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
