Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just high enough for therapy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
