Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
