You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
