if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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