you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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