you would pick up someone in the library
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
