you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
