So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
